FEBRUARY — The Courage to Open the Heart

Adam Stonebraker
Jan 29
3 min read

Mettā as strength, protection, and inner refuge

Opening the heart is often associated with tenderness, warmth, and vulnerability. While these qualities can certainly be part of lovingkindness (mettā), the Buddha’s teaching points to something much deeper and more resilient. To open the heart is also an expression of courage. It is the willingness to remain present and non-hostile even when life does not listen.

In the early teachings, mettā is not framed as a fleeting emotional state or a mood to sustain. It is described as a quality of mind that can be cultivated, established, and abided in. When lovingkindness is present, the heart does not need to defend itself through hardening or withdrawal. It becomes steady enough to meet experience without being overtaken by fear or aversion.

This does not mean that nothing painful or challenging arises. Difficulty is part of human life. What changes is the relationship to difficulty. When the heart is not organized around ill will, experience can be met without adding an extra layer of suffering. In this way, lovingkindness becomes a form of inner refuge, not because it shields us from life, but because it protects the heart from turning against itself.

February invites us to explore this strength of mettā. Not as something idealized or distant, but as a lived capacity that shows itself most clearly when tested. Lovingkindness reveals its depth when we are inconvenienced, when things don’t go our way, when the heart is asked to remain open under pressure.

This understanding comes into sharp focus in one of the Buddha’s most radical and uncompromising teachings.

Primary Text for the Month

Kakacūpama Sutta (The Simile of the Saw)

In this sutta, the Buddha offers a pretty extreme image. He says that even if bandits were to attack and saw one’s body apart limb by limb, the training would be to ensure that no thought of ill will arises in the heart. If ill will takes hold, he says, one is no longer practicing in line with the Dharma.

This teaching is often misunderstood as a call to passivity or endurance at all costs. But the Buddha is not instructing us to tolerate harm or deny pain. He is pointing directly to where suffering is compounded which is when the heart becomes governed by hatred, resentment, or the wish to harm in return.

The simile reveals mettā as a form of protection. Not protection from outer events, but protection from the inner conditions that deepen suffering. When ill will is absent, fear loses its grip. The heart remains free, even in the midst of great difficulty.

This is the courage to open the heart: the willingness to remain non-hostile, non-hardened, and present, even when conditions are challenging. It is not weakness. It is a profound strength of mind.

Practices for the Month

Meditation PracticeAs you sit, notice when irritation, resistance, or aversion arises. Rather than following it or judging it, practice not feeding it. Let non-ill-will be the form mettā takes in that moment. This is how loving-kindness is trained as protection. Take deep breaths and be with whatever arises in a very simple way. There’s no need to fix. Soften, let go, as best as you are able to.

Daily Life PracticeThroughout the day, notice moments when the heart tightens or becomes defensive. Gently ask: Is ill will being added here? Practice pausing before speech or action, allowing care and restraint to guide the response.

Reflection Questions